


coming back as we are

by therestisconfetti



Category: Glee
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, just two sad ppl :(, notsalgia, takes place in 4x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:40:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisconfetti/pseuds/therestisconfetti
Summary: “Santana,” he says in what almost sounds like pleasant surprise. “I didn’t know you were in town.”Santana offers a shrug, making her way down the aisle towards the stage. “I didn’t know you were either.”or: Finn and Satana find comfort in each other in "The Break Up"
Relationships: Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	coming back as we are

**Author's Note:**

> this is such random timing, but I'm in the middle of re-watching glee and just finished 4x04 and yes, I'm still clearly very upset about it. This idea came to mind, and especially with these two actors no longer with us, I was compelled to write this moment in between scenes.

Honestly, Santana doesn’t know how she ends up in the auditorium.

She kind of goes numb after Brittany collects herself enough to go to class, leaving Santana alone in the choir room. As soon as Brittany leaves, Santana is suddenly flooded by the memories they’ve shared in this room.

Santana remembers their first day, when they were only here to be Sue’s spies.

She remembers their permanent seats in the very back, shoulders brushing and pinkies linked together.

She remembers singing a duet together sophomore year and the feeling bubbling in her chest when Brittany sang to her, not knowing what that feeling meant just yet.

She remembers singing with Miss Holliday, scared and afraid, knowing that now things would never be the same - but she also remembers Brittany’s teary eyes and watery smile when she asked if that was really how she felt.

She remembers Songbird, being nervous about the future, but knowing that she needed to tell Brittany just how much she loved her.

Santana remembers it all - the acceptance, the hurt, the confusion.

She remembers singing to Brittany and only Brittany all of senior year, no longer afraid to tell everyone she’s in love with her best friend.

She remembers Brittany pulling her out of her chair to dance together again and again, giving her a kiss on the cheek at the end every single time.

And now Santana has added another memory to the list - one that will hurt for a long time and make her feel like her entire world is ending.

So yeah, maybe she just kind of wanders the empty halls of McKinley aimlessly until she finds herself wandering into the auditorium. However, she is more surprised than anything else to find Finn Hudson sitting there at the edge of the stage, an empty look on his face.

“What, couldn’t shed your man boobs for the army?”

It’s out before she can help herself - old habits die hard - but if she’s being honest, it’s kind of comforting seeing Finn again after all these months apart. For a moment, it doesn’t feel like the world is ending. Just for a single, short-lived moment, it feels like they’re back in high school when things were so much simpler.

His head snaps in her direction, blinking in surprise.

“Santana,” he says in what almost sounds like pleasant surprise. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

Santana offers a shrug, making her way down the aisle towards the stage. “I didn’t know you were either.”

He just stares at her as she approaches, and Santana crosses her arms in front of herself protectively, walls instinctively going up. She avoids Finn’s eyes and really, she should just say something in passing and leave, but something about the big lump’s presence seems much better than dealing with her feelings by herself at the moment.

“Are you...what’s wrong?” Finn asks when she nears. “Were you crying?”

Shit, she should’ve freshened up in the bathroom as soon as she left the choir room. Santana curls into herself for a moment, a quick remark on the tip of her tongue. Her defensive reflex reminds her so much of her younger, sadder self.

But this isn’t senior year and Finn isn’t outing her in the hallway. He looks so lost himself he barely knows what to do. So Santana softens.

“I uh…” she begins, looking down as she bites her lip. “I broke up with Brittany.”

Finn’s face crumbles at the news, like he quite can’t believe it - which, Santana can’t either - and he reaches out and pulls Santana into a hug when she’s close enough. For once, Santana doesn’t fight it. She lets herself fall into Finn’s embrace easily, almost like she’s letting out a sigh of relief. If there are tears and sobs, Finn doesn’t say a word about them.

Here, in Finn’s arms, Santana allows herself to feel all the pain and hurt and frustration she was numb to when Brittany walked away.

“I’m sorry,” Finn murmurs when Santana’s crying subsides. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m single now, too. As of like, right before you walked in here."

Santana sniffs, pulling away from Finn and wiping her tears before sitting up on the stage next to him and asking, “Finally realize you can do better than Gold star Berry?”

Okay, maybe she could've been so supportive - he _did_ almost marry the girl - but that's just not how they roll with each other.

Despite the look on his face, Finn gives a grimace and says, “Her dreams are too big for me. I’ve never been a big city guy.”

Santana is quiet for a moment and then says, “You’re allowed to figure out your own dreams, too. On our own time.”

Finn lets out a soft hum.

They sit there for a stretched period of time before Santana leans her head against Finn’s shoulder. They don’t say anything for awhile, and Santana finds they don’t need to. There is comfort in the way she knows Finn is beside her, that she isn’t alone. She can feel Finn's hurt, too, and it makes her kind of sad, knowing they are both so broken in this moment.

When she looks out into the empty seats, she can picture the day she slapped Finn across the face - with fear and anger and frustration. He had taken away her control, taken away a secret she’d been holding onto, waiting for the right moment to be brave enough for Brittany - for  _ herself _ \- just like that.

But it feels like so long ago, like they were just children. Santana can hardly believe that was only months ago.

Finn told her not long after that incident that Santana being his first meant something to him, that  _ she _ means something to him.

“I didn’t ever think I’d miss high school,” Santana admits quietly.

“Me either,” Finn agrees. “Not like I miss it now.”

Feeling the warmth from Finn’s shoulder and his quiet comfort and the way they are both silent and sad together, Santana thinks she understands what Finn meant all those months ago in the hallway.

She wraps an arm around Finn’s shoulder and holds on a little tighter, doing her best without words to let him know that he isn’t alone.


End file.
